Dear self at sweet 20,You are going to hate me for this. I have put on 30 pounds since I was youL Well, it wasn’t all those lovely samosas I gorged on in college, nor the yummy masala pav I ate in Shubhalaxmi. I met this really cute guy seven years back. We dated for a year and he took me to all those lovely cafes. I had nice chubby cheeks when I got married. If that wasn’t enough, I befriended all the foodies in the world. And now my post pregnancy weight refuses to vanish.
However, you will be proud to hear my accomplishments. I selected a good career for myself and became a Technical Writer. I earn a decent income. That must be a relief to hear. I mean, when I was you, I would ask for pocket money every single day. I was quite shameless.
I got married in 2006 and was blessed with a princess in 2008. We named her Sayali. She’s a cute monster. I and my husband often worry how she will turn out when she’s a teenager. If she becomes anything like me, I am in for trouble. Do you remember that cute dress I had that reached just till my knees? One day it had suddenly vanished and I had strongly suspected mom. Well, I might have to resort to similar tactics when Sayali grows up.
Thanks to Sayali and my marriage, I am more attached to my mother. I still dote on my father, but it’s mom’s voice I want to hear first on the phone, it’s mom to whom I want to tell all my complaints of my daughter. And I know she understands just as I understand her much better. A rebellious 20-year old always got angry when mom told her to do something; but the mom in me now empathizes with my mother.
Do you remember how I never, ever set foot in my mom’s kitchen? I was determined that I would earn well enough to hire a cooking maid. God, I still shiver remembering my mom’s fits when she would proclaim that I would never find a good groom or kill my family due to hunger. Well, I was headed along that path but something changed in me. I guess I wanted to cook for the man I loved. But you would be shocked to hear that I started a food blog sometime back. Though it’s dormant now, it still has a good number of visitors.
I am now in the US for the second time with my family. I have a set routine and responsibilities. My problems are very much different from the ones I had when I was you. Back then I would worry about completing assignments at the nth hour, KT’s, getting caught by putting someone’s proxy, convincing parents for staying out late at night. Now, my problems include what to cook for dinner, planning my daughter’s studies, nagging my husband to complete his chores. You would think that my life is quite boring. But I like it the way it is. I am happy and content.
When I was you, I wanted life to continue the way it was for the rest of my life. I didn’t have a care or worry in the world. Life, as I knew it, meant college, friends, bunking lectures, using four letter words, throwing rockets on professors, watching movies in really cheap theatres, teasing each other silly with some cute guy, calling friends the minute after reaching home to “discuss something important we learnt that day”, going to Chembur station for xeroxing entire books a month before the exams, studying till late hours preparing for exams, wearing the same dress for all papers because it proved lucky, and then biting our nails while waiting for the results.
If I could turn back time, I would love to relive just another day, any day from my 20 year life. I would love to wake up one day and discover that I am 20 and be able to do all the things I did in college.
So adios, my friend. It was good being you. I don’t have a single regret.
Luv,The spirit of you, but a teeny bit mature
P.S: Don’t be so jubilant after your Math exam and think that’s the end of it. You will have nightmares about that paper for years.