May 31, 2007

Home Alone

After working for 3.5 years in the IT industry, I decided to take a break. My husband got an onsite opportunity and I joined him in US on the H4 dependent visa. I and my husband worked in the same organization; however there were no onsite opportunities in my field. The initial plan was that I would be in US for 4 months, then we would return back to India, and I would look out for a new job. That plan soon materialized into another plan when his project got extended and I had to stay on H4 for more than a year.

My status change from working to non-working also changed the attitude of a lot of people towards me. People whom I knew were earning less than me in the previous company suddenly started showing how superior they were to me. Working females would make statements like I can keep the house cleaner as I am a full-time housewife, I can cook better as I have nothing else to do. And I would be “Hello, I used to work 2 months back”. Of course, I never retaliated to any of the taunts/comments that people threw at me. I have the classic problem of not being able to say anything rude on anyone’s face and then later think about what/how could I have said something. Friends would ask me questions such as “Din bhar ghar mein kya time pass karti hai? (What time pass do you do the whole day sitting at home?)” “Why don’t you study in college?” “Why are you online the whole day just waiting for someone to come online and talk to you?” Initially, the word “Housewife” said to me sounded like an insult or bad word.

Mostly, I took all these attitude problems and questions in my stride and kept a positive outlook. Then there were times when I would get terribly depressed. The walls would close on me, all the ghosts seen in horror movies would haunt me in broad daylight, and I would feel like an utter failure. I would never pester my husband for all my boredom, after all staying here for an extended time was my decision too.

This article is my small contribution to all those females like me, who have willingly or unwillingly taken a break from their careers. The reasons and the duration of the break might be different. But the situation through which we are going through is the same. Mostly, this article is for all the females on the H4 dependent visa. And only females on the H4 dependent visa know how dependent they become through this visa. With a decent paying job in India, I never thought twice about buying anything. And oh, the freedom to buy and shop is so valuable to any girl. My husband would never stop me from buying anything in the US. But the ability to shop from your hard earned money is quite different than asking him to buy something for you. Some of you who have been in the US know most of the things covered in this article, but I am hoping that this article proves useful to girls who have newly come to US on H4.

Stuck on a H4? Don’t say so. Here’s how you should utilize your free time:

1.Volunteer: The first thing that comes to mind when you say H4 is that people cannot work on this visa. So, what now? Volunteer. Look up sites such as Volunteermatch.org and Idealist.org and find volunteer positions in your area. Find the work that best suites your likes and spend your time there. You can choose the schedule of your volunteer work. These jobs won’t pay you anything. But they will help in: a. Maintaining a schedule. b. Give you peace of mind that you are doing something worthwhile with your time. c. If you get a volunteer experience letter, then you can account for the free time when later applying for a job.

My friend A volunteered at a school here. It was a very enriching experience for her. I found several writing opportunities through Volunteermatch.org. It’s great to spend time writing articles. In fact, I am very busy in my work.

2.Internships: Several companies accept college interns to work for them for a certain time period. If you have some experience in a particular field and find an internship opening, then you can apply to work voluntarily for the same. My friend was working as an Instructional Designer in India and after coming to the US she found an internship opening in a firm. She applied, went through six rounds of interviews, and is now working as an intern with the firm. Read her experiences here. These firms will also not pay you anything, but they might give you gift cards to gyms and all. Again, the best thing about working as an intern is working as a full-time employee. If the firm is happy with your work, they may sponsor your H1 visa.
Check out websites such as this and this to find internship positions.

3.Further studies: For all those whose husband doesn’t mind sponsoring further education, this option is the best. You can complete your MS, MBA, or CPA in US universities.
If you are not interested in a full-time course or a degree, you can consider taking individual courses and earn credit points. Some colleges offer courses for 100$ and these will earn you a single credit point. You will need to increase the number of courses to earn more points. These credit points will definitely come in handy for job applications.
If going to college for earning a degree isn’t easy for you, take up some distance learning program. You can always search on Google for such programs in your field of study.
Lastly, there’s the option of online certifications. Females from IT background can complete Oracle, SAP, and software testing certifications.

4.Hobby classes: Find out about hobby classes in your area and join something that interests you. I was very lucky in this aspect after knowing about Friendship International. This group sponsored by the local church offers free hobby classes. Teachers train you on various hobbies such as sewing, stitching, home decorations crafts, crochet, knitting, and quilting. They provide free materials and offer free pick up and drop facility. The class is scheduled every Wednesday and is attended by people of all nationalities. I always look forward to this class as it gives me a chance to go out, meet so many people, and do something creative with my hands.

I recently came to know that the store Michaels offers cake decorating and bead jewelry making classes. I have enrolled for the cake decorating class. Whenever I do something creative, I feel like a child who has accomplished something.

5.Network: The more you network, the more you will be aware of opportunities. I have made several friends in my vicinity. These friends informed me about hobby classes, gave me shopping tips, and comforted me when I felt lonely. I also joined Orkut, a networking website and found several long lost friends. Later, I joined communities such as “H4 Marathi Mandal” and “Indian Homemakers in the USA”. Through these communities, I had 500+ virtual friends. I knew that whenever I posted a query or felt like talking to anyone, I would have company. These girls also chat online and play online antakshari.

6.Keep updated: My biggest worry of being on H4 was that I should get a decent job after going back to India. I should be able to account for the one year time I spent at home. I am Technical Writer by profession and regularly read everything happening in my field. I follow e-mail discussions, read online magazines, and keep updated with the new tools in my field. The biggest advantage of being in the US for me is the local library. I found several books on Technical Writing that would be difficult to find in India. I get these books, read them, and take notes. I regularly write articles, either for my blogs or as part of the voluntary work. I do not want to appear clueless and lost when I would apply for jobs in India.

Whatever field you belong to, keep yourself updated. You may convert your visa from H4 to H1 and while searching for jobs, you should be confident and well-informed.

7.Pursue your passion: I believe that there’s a passion in every human waiting to come out. Some of us might have found that passion, while some may find it later. You may be good at singing, cooking, painting, sketching, drawing, playing an instrument, or creative in whatever you make. I discovered my love for cooking after coming to the US. I truly believe that ‘Whatever happens, happens for the best'. I never cooked anything till I came here, and then had to cook as there is no concept of cooking maids in the US. Initially, I struggled but later found that I loved cooking different dishes. While searching for a particular recipe, I stumbled upon a food blog and through this I found several food bloggers. I now have my own food blog Swad, where I write about what I cook at home and post pictures of the cooked dishes. Food blogging serves three of my passions – writing, cooking, and photography. I have several blogger friends and we have a lot of blogging events. I love participating in all of them.

A friend of mine is taking her photography hobby very seriously. She has a Canon S2 IS digital camera and captures Mother Nature’s phenomenal wonders through her lens. She shares her work on Flickr and gives a chance to people to appreciate nature’s beauty. Whatever is your passion, find it and pursue it. You will never feel alone if you are engrossed in something.

8.Exercise regularly: The one thing that my dad said to me when I was leaving for the US is “Don’t come back fat”. I always remember this. It’s natural that if you sit at home and eat, you will put on weight. Sometimes you might eat because you are bored, or eat without noticing while watching TV. And then when you see in the mirror, you will see a fat lady. This might increase your frustration and you may end up eating even more. I am not saying that I regularly go to the gym, but some form of physical activity is necessary. Go for a morning walk, do jogging, hit the gym, practice yoga, or play tennis. I practice meditation taught to me in the ‘Art of living’ class. It makes me calm and controlled. Go out from time to time. You will feel refreshed after breathing the natural air.

9.Follow a schedule: During my early days in the US, I had absolutely no schedule. I used to get up and make breakfast for my husband, then sleep again till 11 am, get up and chat with my parents, eat lunch at odd times, watch TV, and have bath any time before hubby came home. I soon got bored with this schedule. All of us should follow some schedule to feel positive and happy. Nowadays, I get up early, make breakfast for hubby, read the news, clean the house, do my voluntary work, and maintain a fixed schedule.

10.Be positive: Oh no, it's not my blood group. Thoughts of your family, friends, and country are bound to come to your mind from time to time. Your inability to earn may depress you at times. But, try and be positive all the time. If you are feeling lonely, then share this feeling with someone. Read books. I believe that a person will never feel lonely whilst he’s in the company of books. Try to find a positive angle to the present situation. Although I miss my family and all the functions back home, I cherish all the time I am getting to spend with my husband. Who knows, every Sunday in India might have been spent attending weddings and birthday parties? I try and be happy most of the times. I dance when I am alone, laugh out loud, take photographs, and read a lot.

11.Keep company: I see to it that there’s some form of noise when I feel lonely; this way I feel that I have company. I listen to music when I am cooking; I switch on the TV while eating. Ask a friend to visit you if you are too bored or visit her instead. Plan a potluck party with a group of friends.

12.Eat properly: This point is more as a reminder to me than for anyone else. I hate eating alone. My husband’s office is far off and he can’t come home for lunch. I often neglect lunch and eat in minimal quantities. Sometimes I chuck making chapattis and settle for Maggi, a sandwich, or an apple. I sure hope that none of you do something similar, but if you do, then stop doing it. I have now become very serious about having a hearty lunch. I play my favorite movie, add fruits in my lunch, and seem to enjoy it.

13.Learn something new: What was it that you always wanted to do but never found the time to? Learn a new activity - be it sports, a musical instrument, or a new language. There are websites such as this that teach you Spanish. You can hear the pronunciations and learn the language. I am planning to learn tennis and swimming. Rekindle the romance with your husband and sign up for some dance classes. I recently found out that a local dance school offers classes for 40$ a month.

(Updated: One of my readers, Shabari suggested this very important point.)

14. Learn driving: I did the mistake of not learning to drive. If you stay in a city which does not have good local transport, driving becomes mandatory. Most of the states require you to appear for a written test. You can easily prepare for this test using the driver's guideline book for your state. All the driving rules and regulations are defined in this book. Once you pass the written exam, you have to wait for a month to give the driving test. Practice driving in this one month and then appear for the test. A driving license gives you the freedom to go out whenever you want, you need not be dependent on your husband to take you out. Go to the library, go shopping with your friends, or do volunteer work.

This is for all the smart asses (sorry to use this word, but it suits them) who think that people on H4 do nothing but time pass the whole day. Most of these girls are highly educated and know better about how to pass their time than you lecturing them. Do consider the fact that these girls are thousands of miles away from home and family. If you are not interested in talking to them, leave them alone. But at least don’t point out the fact that they are not working over and over again. Remember, if you say something depressing, you can spoil their day.

I hope that this article would help my female friends on H4 in some way or the other. Thanks for reading this article. If you would like to contribute any other helpful fact for this article, please contact me. I would love to add it to the article and give your reference. Also, if you want more information about anything, get in touch with me. I would be happy to help you out.

Till then, be happy on H4!Adios!

75 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hi Swapna,

Your article indeed brings out the predicament of all of us who are on H4 visa.

Thanks for the wonderful tips on how to spend our time fruitfully.

Regards,
Rupali

Anonymous said...

Great job dear.
Hats off to you.

Regards,
Ankita

Deepa Shirish Patil. said...

Hi!Sapna ur work in indeed gr8 and the fact of people like us(H4).The tips given by u r wonderful and good if u follow.Keep it up.

Regards,
Deepa.

Khaviyegiri said...

Hey your article is to good .....one more thing this is not problem of H4 dependent only L2 dependent are also going through the same situatuion

Anonymous said...

Hi swapna, what ever u have written is true....i have faced the similar probs too... i feel much happy after readin this.
Hats off

Nirmala.

Pranoti said...

Hey good work Swapna..:)

Unknown said...

swapna...
i would say your article is really very nice...its the feelings of many and words of one..Thanks for the tips.
felt good after reading..
Regards,
Tejal

Anonymous said...

Hi,

Amazing article & great writing.You have covered all the issues in the life of an H4 person & not only that have given good solutions over it too.Your most important opinion i feel is prepare a daily routine or schedule for yourself which will make a better use of our free time.After reading this article I have decided to follow a good planned routine atleast.

Thanks for the advice I appreciate it.

Regards,
Himani

Anonymous said...

Swapna wonderfully written. Excellent suggestions and wonderful solution to the problems...Hats off to you!!!

Alaifiya said...

Hi
Very beautifully written,its like you wrote everything i wish i could have written,thks a lot for sharing this with me

Ash said...

hey dear, I primarily liked your article for its positive & construcive outlook ! Making most of every situation' is the key to happiness..Thanks for suggesting so many ways of doing just that ...take care

Anonymous said...

hi swapna,

your article is very nice. i have never read such an interesting article about H4 person.i feel that my words are coming out from you . really good work.

NehaVijay said...

Very Nice!!!!!!!!!!!!
really its a same story.......
Good Work!!!!!!!!!!!!!

rashmi said...

Hey.. you have really done a very good job.. not only an experience of your own but you are also intending to help other girls on H4..
Nice work..
and very decent and simple writing..


Keep up the good work.

Anupama said...

Nice job done...

shimaila said...

Hi Swapna,
I really appreciate the way u had composed and covered every aspect of H4 lives. It seems these are my thoughts and i am just reading my own story.
Very well done and very inspiring.
Good work, keep it up.
Thanks
Shimaila

TNL said...

You have given some great tips for women in this situation....and you write quite well, Swapna, I always liked reading your anecdotes in your other blog too. :)

trupti

Nupur said...

Kudos on a well-written, informative article! I think this write-up is full of encouraging tips for everyone (men and women) who find themselves in life's tough situations- whether they get laid off a job (so common in these times) or in between jobs as they switch careers, or being unemployed while trying to find a job after school.
Congratulations on using your time well to learn so many skills that you would not get a chance to learn otherwise.

Anonymous said...

Hi Swapna,
Came here from your food blog. That's such a sincere and well-written article. Don't mean to nitpick, but I just wanted to point out that in point 2, you mention you can do an internship in your area of expertise - butI believe that is not allowed when you're on H4 as that wd still be considered working or gaining experience w/o the remuneration. For instance, if you are an IT professional, you may not volunteer/ intern in an IT company as it adds to your "work experience", but volunteering for, say, a church or a library would be considered ok as long as it is not directly related to your field.

P.S.: Ignore those who pass judgements about you without being in your shoes.

Best wishes,
MB

Anonymous said...

Swapna, for sometime, I felt you are writing about my experiences here. I went thr' exact same thing last year. My only answer to all of them was, "yes, I wanted a break from the busy schedule. I am reaxing and working on my hobbies". After 4-5 months, it stopped hurting me. I really enjoyed every bit of my stay at home. Thats why I tell everyone to take the opportunity as a big break and relax. I now realise how important that one year was for me.
Your article is very well written. I wish you had posted this last year and it would have definitely helped me a lot.

Swapna said...

Friends,
Thanks for your lovely wishes. I am glad you liked the article.
MB: Thanks for the information. I will search more about the point and edit it.

Revathi said...

Hi Swapna..

Well said. Well Said. I have been working for more than 10 years now and seriously considering a break.. But I am scared that I would get depressed without much to do. Your ideas are faboulous. Probably joining the club will be a great idea. Keep each other motivated.

Excellent article here...I am going to back link to this article. :)

Manasi said...

Hey Swaps!! Chin Up Girl!! and u r right! though I am not on H4, and before I got my work permit and a job I wanted, I had to listen to this kind of s*** too (sorry for the s word!) Never let it get me down, I would always say, 'A fulltime HOUSEWIFE & LOVIN' IT!!' Infact... this one year of not 'working in an office' was an enriching experience, taught me sooo much more than just doing a 8-5 job! So to ALL those people who think being a housewife sucks or is no big deal, one request... try to open ur minds to some thing new.. life isn't all about 'office' , we houswives achieve a lot in our own way, one of those is a happy home and also growing as a person, and not just an employee .. try that!!

Unknown said...

Hey Swapna
It was your article but felt my thoughts being echoed. It is simply awesome.....straight from the heart.....enlightening!!!!

Unknown said...

whatever u have written is 100% truth.was able to relate it.

girls who come to US on H4 who dont know much about US really will get good tips.As most of the time hubbys are not helpful/cannot help, as they dont face such problem.

good job.

Anonymous said...

Hi sapna,I could read my own life there. Every post of yours, right frm your cooking experiences to H4 experience, I could relate each and every word to your write up...Very very well written..First time to your blog,came here from orkut. I see that you are from Louisville,hey me from frankfort..nice to meet someone with same interests..Keep up the good work..
Anu

SoniSwati said...

Hey Swapna,
Sounded just like the very life i am living right now.Great work penning it down!

SoniSwati said...

hey swapna,
Could see the life i'm living right now.Great work penning it down!

Unknown said...

Hi Swapna,
It was the best article i've ever read after reaching USA! I almost live in the ways u've suggested & i never see H4 as a hurdle... i keep learning new stufff every day! I bet your article is gonna be an EYE OPENER for many women in US! Hatsoff to u!

By any chance are u in Florence, KY??

Regards,
Latha

G said...

Hey Swapna,

Gud job!!! Everyone on H4 has more or less same kinda story . I know we cant do anything better but sharing all the facts attached to it. Reading others' side of story atleast makes one feel that no one alone is facing all this !!!!n there are many sailing in the same boat.

All I wanna say to all the ppl on H4 tht never sit idle unnecessarily and let depression or low moods beome heavier on you!!!!.....as we all know its jst in our hands to keep ourselves happy wid wht we have or be sad all the time wid wht we dont have!!

Cheers,
Garima Walia Arneja.

G said...

Hey Swapna,

Gud work. Indeed a grt idea to put down the facts attached to the life of any individual on H4 as I g uess everyone on this visa status has more or less same kind of life.

We cant do any better other than putting the thoughts together and make everyone feel that no one alone is facing all these situations......."all r sailing in the same boat ".

All I wanna say to all the ppl on H4 is tht "NEVER EVER let low moods or depression bcome heavier on u coz of this visa status thing rather fight it". We all know itz all in our hands either to be happy wid wht all we have or be sad all the time thinking abt wht we dont have" I know saying is easy n doing it much difficult but dear frenz I m also sailing in the same boat wid u all n trust me itz jst the "Mind Game" ...n nothing else....hope it helps!!

Cheers,
Garima Walia Arneja.

blue111in said...

Hello Swapna,

Good blog post. I have heard few stories other way round and they are much worse than just hearing timepass becoz in those cases it is male gender who is sitting at home and the random reaction - biwi ki kamayi par ash kar raha hai !! Very distasteful reaction. Well, I have particular comment to make for what pratiksha has said about L2 !! I empathize with kind of situation where one has to make a certain move for the spouse - whether H4 OR L2; however H4 do not have an option whereas L2 has. So whoever is on L2, get ur ass working and stop complaining !!

Potpourri Promenade said...

Hey Swapna,

That's a very well-written article. I was on H4 myself for a while, so I know exactly what you mean. I too got frustrated and penned my emotions some time back.

Here's the link to my post
http://prekshaz.blogspot.com/2007/04/american-reality-for-indian-wife.html

And here's the link to some of the activities suggested (they're pretty similar to what you've already stated, but just sending over the link anyways)
http://prekshaz.blogspot.com/2007/04/h4-activities.html

Cheers!
Preksha

Anonymous said...

Been there, done that. I tell you it was real fun, lots of places to visit, lots of reading to catch up on...its great.
I again took a break after my daughter was born and this time though it was fun, there was more work to do :)

So now that you have time enjoy. Try to visit all the local places too. After I started with my studies, then job and now kid thre is hardly any time to travel even the short one day trips are hard.

--sandeepa
Bong Mom's CookBook

Tee said...

Hi Swapna,
This is the first time I visited this blog of yours and I am really impressed. Your post about people on H-4(which includes me) was so helpful! With virtual friends like you, no girl needs to feel lonely...Keep up the good work!

Dhana said...

hey GREAT post! I am not on an H4, but was on one for sometime and can TOTALLY relate. I really love the ideas you have here, as you are right there is more to life than a regular job :)

Vidya said...

Hi Swapna,

Well said for far. I agree that we have to keep positive attitude it helps a lot. Great job !!

- Vidya

yasoda said...

hi swapna....
i dono who u r ..but i impressed alot on seeing ur blog...thanks for ur valuable suggetions for people like me in USA..
divya

Rohini said...

Hi Swapna,

Truly an amazing article, and all thoughts penned down are so true and reality of H4 minds.

Great job!
All the Best!

Rohini.

Unknown said...

Hi Swapna....

Your Article has touched my mind...
its true that people don't respect u..& are ever ready to advice something or the other...Thanks for your tips dear...

Truly Admire your Article.....

Sweety...

Anonymous said...

Hey
Great article. I was in that sitiation a year ago and can realte to it. One thing I would like to add to your suggestions for those on a H4 is, if you are in a place not well connected by public transport, learning how to drive can be prolific.
Shabri

Pooja Na(i)rayan said...

Hi Swapna:
I really felt so happy to see your blog. I am a Gc holder right now but 6 year of my 10 year life in US was on H4. Came here young and married . Had all the confidence and energy to face the world. Applied for jobs, got them too, but was denied on basis of visa requirements. Enriched myself by taking a lot of classes, in process got an associate degree. Then had kids. Didnt work ,and after I got work permit I had lost all my courage to go back and work. Now each day i am trying to muster courage to go apply for job . Ii wish I had come across a site like this , when I needed someone support me. Keep up the good work .
Word of Advice to H4 dependents : Dont ever lose faith in yourself.

Unknown said...

Hey Swapna...its really a wonderful article, written with very simple words which makes it more beautiful and useful to the readers. Especially the part related to passion recognition, self improvement or developing hobbies is not only helpful for non-working people but also to working sector... Great Job...keep it up

Anonymous said...

great article. Actually, this also applies/useful to those who in general feel mentally depressed, feel lonely, feel he/she is useless.

Unknown said...

Hi Swapna,

I am working as a Technical Writer for past 3 years in India. I am getting married in Jan 08 and my husband is looking for opportunities in US.
Is it really difficult for a Technical Writer to find job in US?

Waiting for your reply. If possible, please give your mailid

Regards,
Avantika

Swapna said...

Avantika:
You can mail me at swaps1@gmail.com

Anonymous said...

Hi swapna,

Your article is enough encouraging to all H4 visa holders...

you know i m goin through the same schedule..but now m about to change it...as u done..

thanx a ton yaar..

be in touch..

u can mail me at nayana_deshpande82@yahoo.co.in

Anonymous said...

Hi Swapna,

I understand... I worked for 10 years in a MNC before coming to US, and all those people who just took up a job here, talked big - just because they had a job! They cld drive, do this, do that, blah, blah.
I cld care less... I got busy with so many things - lots of reading, improvised on my cooking skills, we did some travel and I am having some quality time with my 2 adorable kids, I have a food blog, and hopefully, I will take up a job soon!

Anonymous said...

hey hi swapana ......
as said in ur article ..... i m truely experiencing the same thing.....

thanks a lot dear...this have given me some encouragement ....i m here in US since 26 days earlier in india i also use to work since 3yrs back....

as u also mentioned in ur article i m too experincing the dependence after wroking for 3 yrs .....

Once again thanks a lot this will really healp a lot

Regards,
Manik

Anonymous said...

Dear Swapna,

Thanks for penning these thoughts down.

Regards,
S

Unknown said...

Hi Swapna,

Nice and helpful article.Can u give me the website for friendship international.

jacky said...

Hi swapna, i read ur blog and ideas when i was in a search regarding H4 visa dependents.Urs was really interesting and thanks for the great ideas too! I was doing the same already and keeping myself occupied and busy.

Thanks again for the wonderful positive ideas in ur Article especially for H4.

bye jai.

Anonymous said...

Hey Swapna..
Very good yaar. You are an inspiration to so many out there. Really hats off to you and your style of writing is so good. I am a working woman now but planning to take a break in near future to look after my kids.

Unknown said...

Hi Swapna,

I am just 2 months old now being a housewife living in the bay area of California and your article was showed to me by my husband. When I had decided to be a housewife, I had gone over all the things that you have mentioned in your article. However, I had no idea about how to get through and do it practically. This article is a great help. I always wanted to learn all those things which was denied to me as a kid, like riding a bicycle, swimming. I got this opportunity over here and I have learned the basic on cycling now with the help of my husband. Now, the second task is writing the driving exam and then giving the test. My husband is very happy with me to have learned cycling within 2hrs, since as kids falling and learning is easy but as elders its quite difficult. Also, due to this he is very excited and wishes to teach me swimming as well. Since you have written a very good article I thought of sharing my experience and believe me I am really very happy to have seen this article and would like very much to be a part of the group.

Regards, have a great day Everyday!!!
Shubha

Someone said...

Hi Swapna!

Nicely written article! Really good job compiling what H4 ladies can actually do.
I was on H4 last year for the whole 8 months, that too after working for 5 years in India. And Yes! I too got those sympathy shots from working females around me ("oh to tum din bhar ghar me kya karti ho?")! Well time flew and I started working, and now that I find myself on the other side of the fence, I am making it a point not to ask such insulting questions to newly weds (again on H4!).
Again a nice article! I also liked your food blog! Gives me motivation to write something on my blog-trio! :) ..

Chao,
Dhanashri.

Anonymous said...

That's a wonderful article. I could relate to every word you have written. Thanx for providing the detailed info for jobs etc...

Anonymous said...

Wow Swapna..cheers for this article, it felt like u brought the"Me" in your article, Thanks for that encouragment.

Doublethink.. said...

Hi Swapna,


How are you? It was wonderful reading your blogs! It's really creditable that you managed to turn a negative situation like -' what shall I do with all this time' into a positive one.
I see you haven't written much on dreams come true after moving back to India but please do! Your blog will provide a source of inspiration and support to those who follow the same path and even otherwise it makes an interesting read. You write so well, from the bottom of your heart.

KEEP WRITING! KUDOS!

P.S Loved your recipes, I am definitely going to try the Apple Bhajji :)

neets said...

hey that was inspiring,its my 3rd month in US,and yes i am bored to death,i startd with my blog,just a couple of posts,and i do excercise but neithr is done systematically.

dream house said...

great article yaar.....u r doing good job....i appriciat u

Neetu said...

good job... hats off 2 u mam

neetu

Neetu said...

Good job...

Shailja said...

Very nicely put together! And indeed very good tips!
Boosts up the energy in all the low times :-)
Keep blogging!

Anonymous said...

nice article sapna...great ideas...
better than working in the IT field:)

Unknown said...

Hi Swapna,
your article is nice,but seems as if you have encountered many aunty types friends.I too am a housewife from last 2 yr+ but i never had such feelings as u have mentioned.i never felt like explaining my situations to anyone too.People who meet me ,themselves came to know that I cant be a person with less education or less knowledge and lower job profile then them. So whatever u said i found correct but thankfully i have made such an unquestionable personality that no look is there to bother me.

Kartik said...

Wow! This much be so comforting, such an inspiration for women like Swapna. Kudos to you, for sacrificing so much for your family. There may be jealous, well, for the lack of a better word, assholes around who don't value your sacrifice or try to understand what you go through. Educated, ambitious women, having to sit at home. Swapna, you have written a beautiful article. Keep it up! I am proud I know someone who is such a good Writer, and such a nice person :).

Arti Narayan said...

hey

feels like I am seeing my feelings on the Internet.. Ya I've kinda tried ur ideas but have not pursued them for long. Now I feel I should rejuvenate those..
But good article man.. I must say that. Luking fwd for more. Will keep following ur blog. :)

Tc
Arti.

Unknown said...

Hi Swapna,
very rightly said......i am yet to make my decision to come and join my husband in US whose project got extended for a year...and these all things are making me think again and again.
I need to leave my job and come there.......but your ideas are giving me strength.
Thanks
Anjali

Karunya said...

Good Article and Very positive.
I feel there is nothing gained if we are negative about this scenario.
USA is truly the land of oppurtunities and we should make use of it.

Deepa said...

Hello,
I loved your article. Thank you for sharing with us. I am asked everyday by people how I am sitting home? Its so depressing. I am going to follow a schedule and try to be happy with what I have.

Thank you so much.

Unknown said...

nice article im going through the same situation and il try to be busy and btw i wanted to know about driving ,written test and where can i get the material to read of kentucky state.

Unknown said...

Hi Swapna
I am really impressed with your article.I am also on H4 visa and went through the same situation that you have mentioned in the article.My husband showed me your article.I completed my Master's in computer science and because of my personal reasons I didn't changed my status to F1 and still remained on H4 visa.Finally I got my Master's degree but again there is no change in my career.I want to attend for free hobby classes.I have checked the links of websites for internship that you have mentioned in the article but I am unable to open them.Can you please e-mail me the links?your help will be appreciated.
Here is the e-mail address
suneethamusunuri@gmail.com
Waiting for your reply.
Really you have done a great job.

Unknown said...

Hi...Swapna

Your article is really good and inspiring...Greats job.. Thanks a lot...

Regards,
Swapna Shinde

Sheetal said...

Hi Swapna..

I am coming on H4 visa in next month and was going thru net and found ur article...I am working since last 5rs in automotive field and in a car manufacturing company...now left the job and coming with husband to US...little scared of being at home...but after reading ur article feeling little ok...will contact you for guidelines in future...thanks for writing such an useful article....

Thanks,
Sheetal.

Sheetal said...

Hey Swapna,

Thanks for such a motivating article...I am coming to US in next month n really scared of coming on H4 visa as I am working as a manager here in automotive company since last 5yrs...
Will contact you for ur advice...

Thanks
Sheetal.