April 5, 2012

If wishes were horses…

This time it was Bhagyashri’s turn to choose a topic for the group blogging activity and she asked us to let our imagination loose and disclose what power/sixth sense we would like to possess.
Hmm, it sounds like a really compelling idea at first. I mean, wouldn’t it be cool to possess a sixth sense about anything? Imagine what one could do by knowing when the bank’s security system would fail, or when the gold prices would hit an all time lowJ
But the more I think about it, I realize I would have to be extremely careful in what I wish for. I mean, I don’t want my head to be a tangled mass of thoughts by possessing the power to read someone’s mind like Mel Gibson did in What Women Want? Nor would I like to carry the burden of knowing how and whom death would follow as shown in the Final Destination series.
There are certain human characteristics that confuse me a lot. And there are some that I just cannot deal with. So my sixth sense would really be broken down into things that bother me most when interacting with others. Given a chance, there are two powers that I would like to possess.
The first would be the power to know the real intention of someone’s derogatory remarks at me. When someone makes a comment at me that hurts me, the first thing that I would like to know is did they make the comment to purposely hurt me? Or did they just pass a casual remark and I got offended by it? Were they upset because of their personal stuff and that caused the sudden outburst of sarcasm?
A comment like “Oh, you have taught your husband to feed your child so you can sit peacefully and enjoy your lunch” makes me wonder if I have done a good or bad thing.  Or a comment like “Is your dress tight or have you put on weight?” makes me wonder if people have nothing better to do than pass comments on others.
Some people are very calm about handling such things. I, on the other hand, carry the burden for several days. It goes on and on in my head. It changes my view of people and causes awkwardness the next time I have to interact with them.
The second power that would be really good to possess would be to know is if someone does pass a derogatory remark at me, how do I give it back to them without being extremely rude and sarcastic? How do I smirk and give off the impression that your remark was so stupid and nonsensical, I will never ever think about it? Hey, be careful about what you say to me. I might not like it. If you want to be friends with me, watch your tongue and say only nice things to meJ
I suffer from a classic problem of not being able to give it back to someone on their face and then wishing I would have said something to let them know their place. I play a mind game wishing I would have said this or that. So, I would really like to know what is the best thing to say without damaging the relation. You said something that hurt me, here’s what I have for you. Bang! The matter is over then and there, unless, the person carries the revenge against me and insults me the next time. I realize that we may get into a loop. But nonetheless, I would have some peace of mind knowing that I learnt how to deal with such a situation.
A few years back, we had hosted a party for my husband’s birthday. While the guys were having some fun by passing around a champagne bottle, someone commented that my husband should get the last sip so that he would get a good wife in his next birth. I was stunned with insult. How I wish I would have said something and either made a joke out of it, or subtly told the person that he didn’t have a funny sense of humor.
My wish for sixth sense may sound really stupid to someone else. But to me, it would make a huge difference if I learn to handle people and those awkward situations.
Life would be so much easier if you get what you ask for. The trick lies in knowing what to ask for and then using it to your benefit.

3 comments:

Deepa from FictionPies said...

Oooh! Heavy stuff. I totally relate to people passing comments part. Unbelievable how insensitive certain people can be. I have also come across some pretty irritating people, best to steer clear of them. Try and get into a habit where you take in the good and constructive feedback and learn to ignore the others. Affects no one else but you!

Bhagyashri said...

Totally agree with you about the second power. I can think of lots of witty things to say but always on hindsight! Good post.

Swapna said...

@Deepa: I think this is one of those things which are easy to say, but hard to implement. And if we decide to steer clear of everyone, there may be no one left to talk to:-) But I get your point and agree.
@Bhagyashri: Maybe we'll learn one day to give it back there and then:-)